Dad joke refers to a certain kind of a joke which is based on simple puns. They’re the type of jokes that inspire eye-rolls and giggles, and they have become a popular form of family comedy. Here are 99 funny dad jokes to share with friends.
Contents
Classic Funny Dad Jokes
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
Punny Dad Jokes
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No silly, cow says moooo!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
Food-Related Funny Dad Jokes
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
- Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Dad Jokes About Being a Dad
- Why did the dad joke about his kids’ grades? Because he wanted them to be “pun-derful.”
- What do you call a dad who tells dad jokes but has no kids? A faux pa.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- Why did the dad sit on his watch? He wanted to be on time!
- What do you call a dad who loves to tell jokes about construction? A dad builder.
Animal Jokes
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
- How do bees get to school? On the school buzz.
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
Seasonal Funny Dad Jokes
- What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Chill out!
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
- What did one autumn leaf say to another? I’m falling for you!
Technology Jokes
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
- How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.
- Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost its contacts.
- What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte!
- Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts.
Miscellaneous Funny Dad Jokes
- What did one hat say to another hat? You stay here; I’ll go on ahead!
- Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
- How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints!
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug!
- What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows!
More Corny Jokes
46-65:
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
47. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
48. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
49. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
50. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together. 51-55:
51. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
52. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
53. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
54. What’s green and has wheels? Grass! I lied about the wheels.
55. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up! 56-60:
56. How many apples can you fit in an empty box? One! After that, it’s not empty anymore.
57. What did one ocean say to another ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
58. Why can’t you trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something!
59. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it!
60. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball! 61-65:
61. What did one volcano say to another volcano? I lava you!
62. Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels.
63. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
64. How does Moses make his coffee again? Hebrews it!
65. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forest1!
66-70:
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
67. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
68. How does NASA organize their parties? They planet!
69. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
70. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine!
71-75:
- How does your mother know all my jokes? She has great taste in humor!
72. What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini!
73. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out!
74. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
75. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
76-80:
- Where do cows go on vacation? Moo York City!
77. How does your mother know all my jokes? She must be following me around!
78. What’s green but smells like red paint? Green paint!
79. Why should you never write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless!
80. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!
81-85:
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have any guts!
82. What do snowmen like to do on weekends? Chill out!
83. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
84. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!
85. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!
86-90:
- What did one wall say to another wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
87. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
88. How many apples can you fit in an empty box? One! After that, it’s not empty anymore.
89. What did one ocean say to another ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
90. Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
91-95:
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
92. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
93. How does Moses make his coffee again? Hebrews it!
94. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music!
95. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
96–99:
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
97. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
98. How many apples can you fit in an empty box? One! After that, it’s not empty anymore!
99. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
If you’re looking for some eye-rolling ways to break the ice or get people talking, these funny dad jokes fit the bill and will have everyone giggling.
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