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MYVIRALBOX > Funny Stories > +65 Funny Christmas Quotes: Spreading Joy and Laughter This Holiday Season
Funny Stories

+65 Funny Christmas Quotes: Spreading Joy and Laughter This Holiday Season

MVB Brahim
Last updated: March 27, 2025 6:34 pm
MVB Brahim
Published: December 3, 2024
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funny Christmas quotes
Credit: © 1990 20th Century Fox
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Christmas is a season full of joy, affection, and humor. Between all the hustle and bustle of heading home for the holidays and getting everything ready for Christmas, there are many funny Christmas quotes that will help lighten the mood, make people smile, and add some He-Ho Ho to holiday cheer. These funny quotes are about holiday traditions, family get-togethers, and the craziness that can accompany seasonal celebrations. In this article, we will delve plus 65 funny Christmas quotes.

Contents
Funny Christmas Quotes: The Heart of Humor in the HolidaysClassic Funny Christmas QuotesOne-Liners That Pack a PunchFunny Christmas Quotes About Santa ClausFamily-Friendly HumorContemporary Christmas HumorOther Funny Christmas QuotesConclusion

Funny Christmas Quotes: The Heart of Humor in the Holidays

Christmas humor has so many benefits:

  • Relief against stress: Shopping for gifts and preparing food during the holiday season can be annoying and hectic. Funny quotes can provide a break in seriousness.
  • Bonding: Laughter helps build and strengthen relationships with family and friends. A joke or quote can take the edge off at events.
  • Reflection: Numerous funny quotes expose the absurdities behind holiday traditions and encourage us to think about our own

Classic Funny Christmas Quotes

Many funny Christmas quotes have become classics over the years. Here are a few examples:

  • Victor Borge: “Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”
  • Jerry Seinfeld: “That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”
  • Bob Phillips: “There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.”

One-Liners That Pack a Punch

Short and snappy one-liners are perfect for quick laughs. Here are some favorites:

  • “Christmas is a race to see which gives out first—your money or your feet.”
  • “Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.”
  • “Christmas calories don’t count!”

Perfect for captures on social media or holiday cards, these quotes can add just the right amount of humor to your messages.

Funny Christmas Quotes About Santa Claus

Santa Claus is a central figure in most Yuletide jokes. All joking aside, here are some fun quotes that encapsulate his merry personality:

  • Gary Allan: “Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.”
  • Bart Simpson: “Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.”
  • Linda Sunshine: “More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you’ve been bad and good.”

Family-Friendly Humor

Family gatherings can sometimes be stressful, but humorous quotes about family dynamics can lighten the atmosphere:

  • Melanie White: “My husband’s idea of getting into the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.”
  • Erma Bombeck: “Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it up.”
  • Shirley Temple: “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”

Contemporary Christmas Humor

New ways of expressing Christmas cheer have recently been popular on social media. Here’s a selection of recent favorites:

  • “Santa saw your Google search history.” This modern twist brings technology into the mix, making it relatable for today’s audience.
  • “Sleigh all day!” A fun play on words that captures both holiday spirit and excitement.
  • “Naughty list? Challenge accepted.” This quote embraces playful rebellion against traditional notions of good behavior.

Other Funny Christmas Quotes

funny Christmas quotes

  • “The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” — Joan Rivers
  • “Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” — Dave Barry

funny Christmas quotes

  • “I thought it would be funny to stuff my kids’ Christmas stockings with actual stockings. I’ve never heard crying like that.” — Conan O’Brien
  • “At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” — Robert Godden

funny Christmas quotes

  • “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns
  • “Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” — Gary Allen, “Let’s Be Naughty (And Save Santa the Trip)”

funny Christmas quotes

  • “Nothing says holidays like a cheese log.” — Ellen DeGeneres
  • “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” — Andy Borowitz

funny Christmas quotes

  • “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” — Johnny Carson
  • “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?” — Clark Griswold, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”

Laughter This Holiday Season

  • “I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”
  • “How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter bunny?” — Santa Claus, “Home Alone”

funny Christmas quotes

Laughter This Holiday Season

Laughter This Holiday Season

Conclusion

Funny Christmas Quotes remind us that laughter is truly one of the necessities of the holiday season! They guide our way through stress while enhancing our relationships with those we care about through the synchronicity of laughter. From classic quips to modern-day one-liners, there’s a funny quote for every occasion during this most wonderful time of year.

Want to spread more laughter, check these funny Christmas memes. Also, follow us on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram for more funny stuff.

All images from today.com

MVB Brahim
MVB Brahim

Articles from MyViralBox’ contributors and guest bloggers.

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